Mind Your P’s & Q’s With The Correct Etiquette Needed for Today’s Dinner Party Entertaining!
Gone are the days of calling cards, when as a proper lady you gave your calling card to the butler so that he in turn could give it to the lady of the house. Gentlemen on the other hand used their calling cards as silent expressions of the reason for their visit.
In those days, entertaining was made easy and carefree by the use of butlers, maids and cooks. A host would just have to decide on the menu, the guest list and which china service to use and all the remaining details would be completed behind the scenes by a team of people. The rules of etiquette from the host and hostess, the guests and the staff were well laid out and everyone was very aware of their place and role. Although it was highly structured, it did not lack any ambiguity of rules of etiquette that we are found with today.
Today, the emphasis is no longer on the pretentiousness of the Victorian era, but rather making sure that both guests and hosts are relaxed, and that they enjoy each other, without interruptions by graceless and boorish behavior. This means that etiquette is still around but do know that good manners are still in fashion.
Sending out a dinner party invitation used to mean that it had to be engraved, and accepting one meant that you RSVPd back in writing as well. Today, it is still not quite good etiquette to send a dinner party invitation via email, though it seems as if even this custom is dwindling.
During the past it was custom to dress in your finest apparel in order to be accepted into the right social settings. A refusal to adhere to these strict rules could easily have you removed from future social affairs and that was a kiss of death socially. Today we are more apt to host a more casual dinner party but that does not mean that breaking of the dressing etiquette rules would not result in the same kiss of death.
Good manners, also means that an invitation to a dinner party usually requires that you will give the hosts a small gift, such as flowers, or wine. Too, you will show up on time, not overly early, nor any later than ten minutes or so. Men should still seat their lady. Good manners also dictate that you use your napkin properly, and allowing the hosts to begin the meal by unfolding their napkin still signals that the meal has begun.
Men should still stand when a lady leaves the table, and in todays cellular society, it is customary to turn cell phones off during dinnertime. It is exceedingly bad manners to take calls at the hosts table. Excuse yourself and take the call in private if its necessary to take a call at all.
Hosts should prepare in advance for the special dietary requirements of their guests. It is recommended that while you are inviting your guests that you inquire into everyone’s special diet requirements and personal tastes. It is so much better to address this issue early in the planning process rather than be surprised at the last minute. Should an unexpected food requirement arise during the dinner party, graciously address the situation to the best of your ability but do not feel that you need to cook an entire new meal at the last minute. The consumption of alcohol is not only a social etiquette issue but it also crosses moral and legal issues. Be careful not to over consume nor let your guests.
It is normal for people to make a mistake on social etiquette rules from time to time. When mistakes occur it is best not to not make a big deal about them. If you are the person making the mistake it is best to immediately apologize for your blunder and then do your best to move onward. If you are host noticing a blunder of one of your guests, it is imperative that control the situation as best as you can and allow the mistake to addressed at another time. Unless the error is a behavior issue that is affecting your other guests, then as the host it is your responsibility to correctly address and correct the problem. Recognizing and working within the current social etiquette rules will make your social calendar soar and disregarding of them will be the key to your social loneliness.
